arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize