Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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