I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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