the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize