matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we made out on top of his cat.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize