Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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