I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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