i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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