he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
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By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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