i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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