Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize