walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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