Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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