drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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