she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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