well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize