At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize