idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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