The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize