i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize