I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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