I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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