During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize