Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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