i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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