Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize