I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize