i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize