I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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