I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize