I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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