we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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