Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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