I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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