WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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