If i come over, it means nothing
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
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Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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