I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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