whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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