wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize