There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize