at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize