Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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