it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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