and she was petting her beer can
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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