With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
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Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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