I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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