First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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