I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize