So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize