it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
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Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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